Last night marked Lincoln's first night sans pacifier.
And it was rough.
He's gone 2 weeks now with out having it all day, only using it to sleep at night, so we figured he was clearly ready to part ways with his old pal.
He wasn't.
I put him to bed and assured him he was a big boy that could go to sleep without his binkie, but he didn't believe me. So I showed him the basket where the plethora of pacifiers were normally kept, and upon a deep and thorough inspection, he concurred that it was indeed empty. Since I was feeling a little guilty for taking his beloved away, I stayed I his room with him and read him a couple of stories. All through 3 books, he cried and screamed. Eventually, I decided my being there wasn't helping, and I left him alone, to cry. For almost an hour, he sobbed, and it was so heartbreaking! Richard and I lay in bed listening, and there was nothing I could do to hold back a few tears of my own. NOTHING breaks my heart like hearing my child's cries of sadness.
And while he woke up this morning with no mention of the nights events, I think it will take me a lot longer to forgot having to be the one to break his little heart.
And while he is just a child who in a few days will forever forgot that the pacifier was ever even a vital part of his life, I can relate to his tear filled night.
Haven't we all spent nights with uncontrollable tears, begging for something thats out of our control??
It sucks.
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