Yo Gabba Gabba PARTY!

I was a little disappointed when I weighed myself today, and took my measurements to track my Revolt Fitness progress. It's week 5 now, and I'm up 2lbs, and didn't loose any inches in the last 2 weeks. Booo. But this week is all cardio, which I love. And hopefully it will jump start the next wave of melting off the excess!

And I'm sure the lack of pounds lost has nothing to do with Memorial Day and me drinking my weight in margaritas.

Or the nacho bar from Brooks's birthday the weekend before.

That's right, I said nacho bar. It was the best/worst decision of my life.

His party was Yo Gabba Gabba themed, and it was colorful and silly and so much fun!

For food we had the nacho bar, rainbow jello cups, cupcakes, and Dazzleberry lemonade.

I think nacho bars are going to be my go to party food from now on. It was so easy, and who doesn't love nachos??

If you want to have one (and trust me, you do) here's what we used:

1 big bag of chips from Moes

5 bowls of queso from Moes (totally worth the $25!)

4 cans of black beans

2 jars sliced jalepenos

1 bag shredded lettuce

2 cans sliced olives

1 bag shredded Mexican cheese

3 diced tomatoes

1 tub of sour cream

family size jug of salsa

A couple of bunches of green onions

We didn't use meat, but I would figure you would need a couple of pounds of shredded chicken or  ground beef.

We had about 30 people, and this was more than enough. I ended up having nachos for several days after, but honestly, has anyone ever complained about too many nachos?? I think not.

For the rainbow jello cups, I used this recipe, and while they took FOREVER, they looked cute and were a huge hit. The lemonade was just regular lemonade with grenadine mixed in until it was a pretty color. I also had maraschino cherries to go in it.

Brooks's smash cake was my favorite part! I knew I wanted to make a rainbow cake, but was so worried it was going to turn out brown when all the colors mixed, but it turned out awesome.

These pics are terrible, but I used a rectangle pan to bake the cake mix, then used a bowl to cut out 2 circles to stack. This was to avoid buying a smaller round cake pan. To make the rainbow, I just divided the prepared white cake mix into 4 bowls, and added food coloring until I got a really bright color. Then I just poured it into the pan, 1 color at a time. I tried to get it in the pan and into the oven quickly, so the colors didn't have time to mix and turn out looking like vomit!

Then I frosted it in white, so that the bright inside would be a shock when he smashed into it, and it was!! For the toppers I got the Yo Gabba Gabba bath toys of EBay, and he loved them.

For fun, we had a ball pit made from a blow up swimming pool filled with play balls.

 'Party in My Tummy' Game, made by painting Brobee on a piece of foam board, then cutting a hole in his stomach, and taping a piece of cardboard to the back to make him stand up. We used plastic food from Lincoln's play kitchen for the kids to try to throw in his tummy. It's a Gabba thing...

And we 'Pinned the Eye on Muno' by putting a printout of Muno on a dry erase board and using magnets painted like Muno's eye for the kids to try to stick on.

Fun stuff.

Here's a few more of my favorite pictures from the party.

For free Yo Gabba Gabba printables you can check out Nick Jr. and check out my Pinterest board for all the details I obsessed over trying to prepare for this party :)

Spring Breakin'

It's Spring Break for Lincoln's school this week, and I had BIG plans. I spent hours scouring Pinterest for fun activities we could do, so that his days would be filled with something other than tv. There were so many ideas, I couldn't wait to get started! He was going to think I was the best mom ever.

And then shit happened. Literally. 

Last Friday the kid started exploding from both ends. He missed his spring play at school that we had been practicing for for a month. And just now, SIX days later, he's finally starting to feel better. He ate three pieces of toast this morning, so I think his appetites back. And no explosions so far today (I'm knocking on all the wood I can find right now). But now the little one has caught it, and so I'm straight scurred that I'm in for 6 more days of my house smelling like ass. We are in desperate need of fresh air, but it's freezing outside. WTF Spring Break????

This is not the Spring Break I expected....

I suppose this is ok, since they're both sick already...

Thank god for Photo Booth. It's provided is with hours of entertainment. Don't mind my children, they've been in their pajamas for a week, no big deal.

As the kids were laying on the makeshift bed I made on the living room floor, quietly watching Sesame Street, I was reminiscing about the Spring Breaks of my youth.

There were the ones where you were just excited to get to hang with your friends all week. Riding bikes, climbing trees, watching movies, staying up late.

Then there was the WHOOOOOOO, SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!! Spring Breaks.

Those Spring Breaks were filled with booze and boobs and beads and bad decisions. 

Those memories make me terrified to ever have a daughter.

Hope your week is going better than mine! And hey, it's Wednesday! Only a few more days till my Spring Break hell is over:)

I may have made a mistake.

My first week of being a work-from-home mom is quickly coming to and end, and, real talk, it has NOT been what I expected. There is just so much to do! I know that it will take awhile to figure out a routine, and to get Brooks on a regular schedule, so hopefully this week has just been a test and it will (fingers crossed) get better!

A few things I have learned this week:

1. The flu spares no one. Brooks was sent home from daycare last Friday with what they thought was the flu. So my last day of work was cut short (I ain't even mad) so that I could go pick him up. But then he only puked one more time, so I was like psssssshhhhhhh, that's not the flu. Well guess who got the flu? EVERYBODY WHO LIVES IN MY HOUSE. It started Sunday with Lincoln puking in the kitchen trashcan and didn't end until the last shit was taken on Wednesday morning. Not the ideal start to my new lifestyle....

2. Trying to run a business from home while simultaneously being responsible for an 8 month old is a kind of exhausting that I never knew existed. No lie, "What was I thinking?" has been muttered no less than 9,080,476 times this week. I use to spend 6 hours a day just playing on the Internet, and a couple days this week I couldn't even find the time to comb my hair.

I can't get anything done. And my house is disgusting.

The reason I can't get anything done. And why my house is disgusting.

3. Words babies either don't understand, or give zero fucks about:

stop

no

don't

please
seriously

their name

4. Brooks sleeps WAY less than I thought he would, and eats WAY more than I thought he would.

Eating.

Eating.

Eating.

So it's been....intense, to say the least. But there have also been some redeeming moments, such as getting to spend all day with the funniest, happiest baby I've ever met.

And getting to have french toast for lunch. That pretty much cancels out all the bad shit.

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know? -Ernest Hemmingway

I haven't been sleeping much lately.

Between Brooks spitting his paci out, then immediately realizing he urgently wants it back, and Lincoln thinking that 1, 3, and 5 am are the best times to ask the days most important questions, 

I'm averaging about 4.5 hours a night.

 You know whats worse than having the piss scared out of you by waking up to find a 4 year old staring at you in the dark? 

That 4 year old wanting to discuss, at depth, what happens if you mix milk and water together.

The fuck? This isn't science class and I'm not Bill Nye, 

GO BACK TO SLEEP!!

But seeing the love these 2 have for each other is almost...ALMOST...worth being awake for.

Just kidding, I'd pick the sleep any day. 

Vampire Pirates

Asked Lincoln what he wants to be when he grows up.

His answer? Vampire pirate. Obviously.

Project Play Smart Giveaway***CLOSED***

I'm really excited for this giveaway because I think this is an awesome website for parents or anyone who has children that they buy gifts for. Project Play smart is a free members only website that sells a great mix of educational toys for kids of all ages. Each week they offer a small selection of toys at a discounted price to their members, and once the week is over a new selection becomes available on their site.

From Project Play Smart:

We love toys – especially the ones that make our kids light up, learn and discover new things about themselves and the world around them.The problem is finding toys like these is hard – especially in big box stores with thousands of toys featuring licensed characters that are advertised to our kids around the clock. And shopping for toys at one of these stores with our kids – no thanks!So what’s a busy parent to do?We started Project Play Smart to help making finding great toys easy and fun. The fact is there are thousands of small toy companies around the world creating great products. It’s just hard matching the right toy with the right child.


With so many toy companies around, it can be hard to shop through them all to find that right toy for that special kid. At Project Play Smart, you can easily browse toys by age range, making it much easier to find age appropriate educational toys.

Check out some of the awesome toys featured this week:

Early Years Little Shopper Play Set-Offered for $18

B. Parum Pum Pum Drum- Offered for $20.00

So let's get to the goods. If you'd like to snag some of the discounted play things for your tykes (and who wouldn't) you've come to the right place.

Project Play Smart is giving one of you a $25 gift certificate to use on their site!

Giveaway is closed...Winner will be announce Monday 3/26/2012!!

Here's how to win:

Mandatory:

1. Be a follower of this here blog.

2. Join Project Play Smart's website. It's totally free and not at all annoying.

Optional (for extra entries)

3. "Like" Stoic on Facebook

4. "Like" Project Play Smart on Facebook

Just leave a comment letting me know which you did, and that's it. Hope you enter, toys are freakin expensive, I know I wouldn't turn down $25 in toy buying dollars!

Giveaway ends March 23rd at noon!

Things Children Have Learned...

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
School lunches stick to the wall.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.

New Diet...

People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3 days. Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet.
Over the years you may have noticed that most two year olds are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to all in this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor before embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards. Good Luck !!!
DAY ONE:
Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly.
Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor.
Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.
Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).
Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Sprite.
Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor.
DAY TWO:
Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it.
Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.
Lunch: Half tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired.
Afternoon snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again.
Then bring inside and drop on rug.
Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon.
DAY THREE:
Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass.
After breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair.
Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.
Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch.
Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible.
FINAL DAY:
Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.
Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it.
Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.

Devil's Dictionary

I have been reading The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce through the amazing website DailyLit. It emails a portion of a book or story to you everyday, and makes it so much easier to read since you don't have the daunting task of finishing it all at once. I have decided to add some of my favorite definitions here. Enjoy!

FOOL, n. A person who pervades the domain of intellectual speculation and diffuses himself through the channels of moral activity. He is omnific, omniform, omnipercipient, omniscience, omnipotent. He it was who invented letters, printing, the railroad, the steamboat, the telegraph, the platitude and the circle of the sciences. He created patriotism and taught the nations war -- founded theology, philosophy, law, medicine and Chicago. He established monarchical and republican government. He is from everlasting to everlasting -- such as creation's dawn beheld he fooleth now. In the morning of time he sang upon primitive hills, and in the noonday of existence headed the procession of being. His grandmotherly hand was warmly tucked-in the set sun of civilization, and in the twilight he prepares Man's evening meal of milk-and-morality and turns down the covers of the universal grave.And after the rest of us shall have retired for the night of eternal oblivion he will sit up to write a history of human civilization.

FORGETFULNESS, n. A gift of God bestowed upon doctors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

baby fat

I was just reading this post: http://theperfectlyobsessedmom.blogspot.com/2008/12/does-excercising-have-to-count-as-me.html
and it made me think about my own struggle to lose the 20 extra pounds that has took up residence on my ass since the birth of my son 6 months ago. It is seriously NOT budging! And how is anyone expected to work out when they work full time, have to take care of their kids, keep their house clean, and have a least a single moment of sanity in each day?! I, also, do not want to get up at 4am to run around the block. If only there were some magic pill that would make it all just go away.
Wishful thinking.

Invisible Moms

I got this email today, and it really touched me. So for all the moms out there, this is for you.


Invisible Mother...... It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously, not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone! One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England .... Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:'To My Dear Friend, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.' In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees' I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.' At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're going to love it there.' As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Great Job, MOM!