The one in which I'm overly bitter...

Remember the assistant I told you about? The one that was peeping my computer usage, thus preventing me from being up to par on my blogging? Well the bitch is driving me crazy!! She is the worst employee EVER! No exaggeration. And here is the proof:

• She text more than anyone I've ever seen. I'm surprised she doesn't have arthritis. I feel like every time I look at her, she's got her fucking phone in her hands, just poking away at that tiny keyboard. It makes me want to break her fingers.
• On a related note, she will be reading a text on her phone, and will laugh out loud. Really?! Do you really think you should be calling attention to the fact that you aren't working? I don't.
• She wore a dress to work yesterday. Now I know that probably doesn't sound that awful, but trust me, it is. We are the only 2 females at this job, and these guys are not the type of guys you want to be trying to catch a glimpse up the skirt. And she repeatedly apologized for accidentally flashing me. If your dress puts you at high risk for showing people the goods, its probally not work appropriate. Unless your job involves  street corners or poles.

great for the beach...the office? notsomuch.

• Every time I get off the phone, she ask who I was talking to. WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER??? I guarantee that you are not personally acquainted with them, so it does not effect you at all! Get back to your texting, dumb ass.
• I don't want to get all judgy-mc-judgerson about her personal life, but I am, because she pisses me off. She is 27, has a 3 year old son, and lives at home with her parents. She works part-time, and the last job she had was at the tanning bed, which she was fired from. Her parents pay her car insurance and her cell phone bill. She eats out everyday and goes out drinking on the weekends. Yet SOMEHOW she is always complaining about not having any money. My recommendation? Get a full time job and grow the fuck up!
• She tells me when she has to go to the bathroom. On one hand, I appreciate the heads up, so I know to avoid it for the next 30 minutes, but on the other hand, I really don't need to know every time you go #2. Plus, its a pretty good indication of what your doing when you flush more than once.

This is her seat in proximity to mine. behind that is the door to the bathroom. I CAN HEAR YOU!!!

• It's really annoying when you hand me paperwork that has a tree and sun doodled on it in yellow highlighter. 
• She has this incredible knack for interrupting other peoples conversations with something that is so irrelevant it makes me want to punch her in the face. For example, I will be discussing with another coworker a problem with trying to hire someone to fill a vacant position that is putting us in a real bind, and out of nowhere she will pop her little head up to ask "Are you going to put your kids in swim lessons this summer?? 'Cause I really want to put my son in swim lessons, and it would be SO much fun if we could go together!" Excuse me?? I don't even want to spend my work days with you, much less time when I'm not getting paid!
• She comes into work an hour after I do. Her mom takes care of her son, so she has no daycare drop-off. But yet every morning she shows up with her make-up bag and heads straight for the rest room to "get ready." Hold on. You mean I can do that on that clock?? I think I'll start showing up in my jammies. Maybe leave my toothbrush here? 

Okay. I think I'm done being bitter for the day. Its probably not her fault she sucks at life...

Happy Thursday!!