the joys of parenting

*Lincoln woke up at about 3:30 am, screaming bloody murder. We usually let him cry for a bit, and he'll put himself to sleep. But not this time. He screams on and off for well over 2 hours, which is confusing because he's totally capable of getting his butt out of bed and walking into our room, where in most cases he could just crawl into our bed and go back to sleep, as we are WAY to lazy to take him back to his own room. So finally around 6 I go into his room, and ask him what the fuck his problem is. He looks at me with a straight face and says "you left your book in my room." I thought for sure that the cause of his distress was a creepy shawdow outside his window or the typical "my pee pee hurts" (damn morning wood), not the fact that I left the book I had been reading the nght before laying in his chair. Really makes me rethink having more kids...

* I ask Lincoln what he wants for breakfast. He says candy, and, as if it makes any difference, goes to great lengths to stress that he only wants ONE peice of candy when I say no. I leave him screaming and crying in his chair for a few minutes, then return to see if he's changed his mind. He has! YAY! He now wants mac and cheese. The kind with Cars on it. And honestly, I would have fixed the kid mac and cheese just to shut him up, but there was no time. So he had to suffer through a bowl of instant oatmeal, giving me the stink eye the entire time.

*Lincoln called Richard a "stupid head." I'm sure that this language is the work of Kendall...the biggest bitch at the playground. I never thought it was possible to hate a small child, but Kendall is quickly becoming the bane of my existence. Bitch.

This is obviously Violet Beauregarde from Willy Wonka, but dude, if you knew Kendall, you would think this was HILARIOUS, as she looks and acts just like the side eye pictured above.

 *And now I'm at work, counting down the minutes to 5 o'clock....because it's Friday, and I'm ready to get the heck outta dodge!

No big plans, maybe a date with Monsier Cheese, at what can only be described as the happiest place on earth in southern Indiana. Me and Chuck, we go way back. I'm saving my tickets for a life size version of the Big Cheese himself...i'll let you know how that goes!

Have a great weekend!!

Be sure to check out my giveaway if you have kids...or like to smell like a kid.

Life Lessons. Part One.

1. Have a song. A song that makes you happy every time you hear it. A song that fixes things, and instantly puts a smile on your face. Mine's anything Bon Jovi, but especially "Someday I'll be Saturday Night".

2. There are times when you should be nice, and times when you need to be a bitch. The hard part is figuring out when those times are.

okay, that second picture is totally irrelevant, but so frickin funny!!!!! Edward Cullen got knocked the fuck out!!

3. Learn how to flirt, and perfect it. If you are a good flirt, you can get away with anything.

4. A good pair of sunglasses can make you look hot on even your worst days. At the very least, the hide the fact that you just rolled out of bed and had no time to put on make-up.

5. Rock out in your car. Every day when I leave my shitty job I crank up the tunes and sing like it's going out of style. And my windows are not remotely tinted, but I like to think that if someone sees me, it puts a smile on their face too.

all pics via we♥it