7.28.2010

go daddy go...

Lincoln's 2nd birthday party was Saturday, and it turned out great! I was too busy running around like a crack head to actually pick up the camera, so I'll post some pictures once I get them from my mother.

On a totally unrelated note, I have to get off my chest something that happened recently...

Last weekend Richard, Lincoln and I were out running some errands. There is new outlet mall in town, so we decided to stop in and peruse the goods. We enter the store and are immediately blown away by the large amount of crap aisle and aisles of inexpensive wares. I glance to the right, where I see a display of supposedly hand painted guitars featuring things like tigers, skulls and butterflys. Also to the right I see a family: A man, woman and daughter. Upon seeing them I gently persuade Richard to head to the left, with comments like "Ooohh! Is that a velvet Elvis poster??" Once we had safely passed the section of knock off purses, I leaned over and whispered to Richard "My dads here. We have to get out of this store." As soon as I said it, I felt like such a fucking weirdo. Like who see's their dad, and isn't all, "Hey dad! Whats new??" Only my greeting to my dad would have gone more like "Hey dad! I see your with your other family, the one you like. Thats nice. Hey there little sister. Remember me?? No?? Of course you don't, because our dad's a dick."

Oh, you want some backstory? I thought you'd never ask!

My older brother and I are the products of the failed marriage between my mother and father. I was born in San Francisico, where we lived like a little happy familty. Until my parents split up, we moved back to Kentucky where my mom is from. Awesome. For a few years he attempted to be close to his kids. Nice try, but that only lasted a few years, and then the it just stopped. No more play dates with dad at the park. No phone calls. No birthday cards. No nothing. As a child I was confused, like who doesn't want to hang out with me?? I'm freakin awesome!
So every Christmas I would send him a card with a picture of me and my brother. Never. got. one. back.
Fast forward to my junior year of highschool. I come home from school to find my dad, my mom and my brother in the living room. WTF??? I was confused, I had finally gotten over the rejection, but there was still a part of me that yearned to have my dad be a part of my life. So we slowly built up a relationship, me and my brother frequently hanging out with him, much to the dismay of his new wife. We met his daughter. It was as happy as the situation could be. And then it was over. just. like. that. I didn't see or talk to him for the next 5 years, until he randomly showed up to my college graduation (thanks mom). Even then, we didn't talk, I just happen to glance up and see him taking my picture...some sort of misguided proud papa moment? 

So here we are. Years later, and I have to duck out of stores to avoid the incredibly awkward situation that would be a convo with the pops. And even though this post might make you think otherwise, I am fully over my "daddy left me" issues. I have a kick ass mom who filled the role better than any man ever could. My only thing is that I really wish he would move! How the hell am I gonna handle the situation if one day Lincoln and I run into him?? How would I even introduce him?? 
AWKWARD.

7 comments:

Alicia said...

oh lady, thats a tough one.... its situations like this that made me leave mason's biodad and move far far away...i'm so glad you have an awesome mom who was able to raise such a FREAKIN AWESOME daughter! it's his loss...lincoln doesn't need him either...good luck with this boo..and if that day comes where you do run into him, keep your chin up! hugs to my lady!!

CraftGirlAlli said...

Tia, I feel you. Totally. Same exact thing happened to me. I haven't spoken to my dad in about 5 years. We were even in the same room when my grandma died 3 years ago and he didn't even LOOK at me. He's never met my son. I'm dreading the day when I have to explain to Colby why things are the way they are. But that's life. We're lucky to have such kick ass mom's that worked their asses off and sacrificed everything for us, aren't we?!

Gabby said...

Wow, what a situation. That sucks that unfortunately you're not close to him, but sometimes things just work out how they're supposed to, I believe that. Big hugs to you, lady!

Ashley Stone said...

wow, I can't imagine! I love your positive attitude about it though! So happy for you that you have such an awesome mom. : )

xoxo

melifaif said...

Whoa, tia! And I thought I was "going through something." Just kidding. I know that had to be and has to be tough still. I can't imagine. What a fool...to miss out on such my joy. I pray for you my friend...can't wait to see Linc's bday pics...

bananas. said...

oh honey...we share similar stories, except my dad has tried to be a part of my life a long time ago. i chose not to pursue it. he was/maybe still is a horrible man. and he has another family. it's creepy to know i have half siblings out there. every once in a while i wonder if he thinks of his two "other" children, meaning me and my brother. i doubt he does.

hugs woman...i'm sure you need them.

drollgirl said...

your dad did not do you right. nope. no way. i think you are smart to avoid him. i kind of want to shake him like a rag doll and ask him why he was not a better dad to you.