I thought I burned these...The horrible proof of my awkward childhood

I went to my moms on Christmas day expecting to be showered with affection, gifts, and tasty treats. What I did not expect was for my mom to bring out a huge box filled with awful terrible incriminating embarrassing hideous pictures from my youth. I thought these pictures were history, burned in a tragic garage fire, or at least in a box under lock and key never ever to be seen again. I was wrong. Horribly wrong.
I used to think my mom loved me. Now I see that shes been tricking me with what I thought was love, only to keep me around long enough for me to forget the tragedies of my youth, so she could one day spring them on me and cause me to have a whole new speech for the therapist. Thanks mom, remind me I owe you one.

So I have to spend the rest of my Christmas weekend watching hubby enjoy(entirely too much) taking each picture out one by one, pointing, laughing, snorting; repeat.

Why did I decide to share them here, you might ask? well maybe somewhere, someone will look at these pictures and realize that their life just isn't that bad. Your Welcome.

So here is the first part in a new installment called "I Thought I Burned These"

Look at those sweet moves!! There I am, back row, second from the right, bustin a move like you've never seen. The girl next to me looks like she just shit herself.

#11, the introduction of contacts is going to change your life, those glasses are redonkulous. One thing about this picture that makes me feel a tiny bit better? The wolf man on the left is my step-dad! bahahaha! What the hell was my mom thinking???

Here you can see how I moved on from being a nerdy, yet sporty little girl, to a mature young woman at a daytime strippers convention. Its like the photographer said "Hey there ladies! Lets see how much leg and cleavage we can show, so you can really ashame your parents when they see the tiny little slut they raised."
Now this is a good one. A real great specimen to NEVER let my children see. Here I am with my high school boyfriend. My mom probably has no clue where I am, and I look like I'm in some sort of drug or alcohol induced coma. Nice tube top. And I'm pretty sure we broke into some old lady's crib to snap this photo.

I'm like a fine wine, I get better with age. Her I am in college. At my campus apartment. With a alcoholic beverage in hand, and my roommates finger in my mouth. Why?? WHY?? I want to yell at myself "stop being drunk all the time and sticking things in your mouth (haha)! Guys are not going to take you seriously, and your probably not going to make it to class in the morning."

Needless to say, I didn't even last 1 semester on campus before the Rulers of the Universe (my R.A.) called me a nuisance, and had me kicked of campus for repeatedly getting caught smuggling vodka in water bottles.

Oh, the good ole days.



CraftGirlAlli said...

hahahahaha.....I can relate to about all your photos LOL. I'm cracking up at the last one. I have LOTS of those photos of myself...and I also got kicked off campus for alcohol lmao. Thanks for sharing!

bananas. said...

oh dear god...who's the chick with the two piece prom dress? or the girl in the green on the right?! really??? wow. i do like the zebra dress though and yours is so sparkly.

btw these pictures are not bad. you should seen mine.