Double trouble.

You guys,
Being a mom to 2 kids is HARD.
I'm trying real hard to not be a whiny brat, cause you know, I kinda brought this one on myself.

But WTF? Why did no one tell me about this?

Don't get me wrong, Lincoln is still super sweet, thank goodness. We have yet to witness any jealousy or behavior issues from him. If anything, he loves having a brother too much. (Is that possible??)

So he's still the same. It's just that now...there's 2 of them.
And one of them ALWAYS needs SOMETHING.

I'm seriously non stop feeding them. Why do they have to eat so much?? Lincoln tells me no less than 20 times a day that he's hungry. I wish I had his metabolism....

And the baby...oh that sweet chunky monkey Brooks. What was wrong with me when I decided pumping exclusively was a good idea?? Have you ever seen the movie Daybreakers? With Ethan Hawke and Willem Dafoe? Probably not. Anyways, in it the world is over run with vampires and they are harvesting humans for their blood.
That's what is happening to me!
Only instead of vampires it's a big fat baby. And instead of blood it's milk.

I feel like I'm hooked up to this breast pump 90% of my day. No joke, I'm pumping while I type this. Sitting at my desk at work, awkward.
Don't try to visualize, please. :)

Speaking of work, how do people do this?? Working a full time job with 2 kids is BY FAR the hardest thing I've ever done. Add to that the fact that Richard and I have to run our Etsy shop, Stoic Design, in our free time (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA) and seriously, I'm dead.

Let me break it down for you:
2 kids=dying
2 kids + full time job=dead
2 kids + full time job + side job=died, turned into a zombie, ate a couple of people, got shot through the eye with a cross bow, died again. (I started watching The Walking Dead recently)

For serious, HOW DO PEOPLE SURVIVE LIKE THIS? Can someone please tell me? Is there a handbook that no one gave me? Was I hungover and missed the seminar? Maybe there's an online class I can take? I would pay double.
Not really because kids are fucking expensive and I'm poor.

I haven't NOT felt tired in months. These people are lucky they are all so cute, because more than once the thought has crossed my mind to run away. Just for a little bit...I would definitely, probably come back.

I love them all, they are all super fantastic. But I'm not going to lie. Sometimes the VERY short car ride between leaving work and picking up Brooks from daycare is the best 10 minutes of my day.
It's quiet, no ones asking me for anything, or singing "Feeling Groovy" at the top of their lungs. And it ends with me once again surrounded by my boys. Which, as awful as I just made it sound, is always my favorite place to be.


drollgirl said...

oh girl. i feel for you. i do! i know it must be so hard. i don't have kids. my sister has two kids. she says it gets easier -- they baby stage is just the hardest. it will get better!!! it MUST!

i went on a 6 hour drive with my sister and her two kids over the weekend. I CANNOT EVEN TELL YOU HOW MUCH THOSE GIRLS ATE. they are seven and five years old. they eat CONSTANTLY. they eat more sugar than i could possibly tell you. nuts! it is just nuts! and the fighting. and the questions. and the constant NEEDING. omfg. i love them, but i can't even tell you how nice it was to get home to my quiet apartment with two cats and a tv. lol

ape2016 said...

There is a light at the end of the vampire/zombie filled tunnel. I am a single mom of 3 and I worked full time when my oldest two were only 2 y/o and newborn. There were days I felt drunk (spins, hallucinations- the works) without any of the fun emptying of Grey Goose bottles that usually precedes such weirdness. Physically, it gets easier in a couple years. Due to my genius reproduction timing this period lasted for 10 years for me. 10 frigging years of pooping while a little person sat at my feet, 10 years of eating every meal cold because everyone else had to have their food served, cut, fed to them, drinks refilled repeatedly until I had hysterical fantasies of us all living on goldfish crackers until they reached high school. 10 years of being covered in someone else's snot, urine, vomit, drool or whatever sticky mess was stuck to their pudgy fingers. I have never felt such exhaustion, but it did end. Now, my kids are 8, 12 and 14. I homeschool and stay at home and while they (mostly) feed and clean themselves, the emotional sh*t storm that comes from the ones in double digits makes me long for the days I could plop them in a high chair in front of the TV while I cried over the loss of my bladder control, figure, youth and sanity. I guess what I am trying to say is cherish this time when they are so cute and lovable because there will come a day when you may have visions of selling your kids to a traveling circus of convicts. You won't because you love them, but this fantasy WILL stop you from snatching someone bald.